I’ve been thinking about my book club…

By Holly DelHousaye

I had a dream about creating a book club that became a reality when my husband retired from his senior pastor position of Scottsdale Bible Church in Scottsdale, Arizona in 2006.

Church life presents many opportunities for building deep and satisfying relationships and my experience was no different. There were many Christian women whom I did not want to lose touch with following our departure. I focused on a few women who I felt were particularly vital to my own personal growth—four women who were defined, motivated to stay intellectually sharp, and loyal. I invited them to begin a book club with me. They included:

• a doctor/educator, bioethicist; strategist—sensitive, responsible, accomplished.
• a hospice nurse/mother, grandmother, educator—empathetic, sacrificial, nurturing.
• a pastor’s wife/mother, grandmother, mentor—wise, disciplined, committed.
• a theologian’s wife/mother, grandmother—hospitable, spontaneous, knowledgeable.
• and me—a pastor’s wife/mother, grandmother, mentor—dreamer, beautifier, intentional.

We began reading and many stimulating discussions took place for a few hours on Sunday afternoons for several years. But then we read a book that changed all of our lives. It was called Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, a 1971 novel by Elizabeth Taylor. Set in London in the 1960’s, the recently widowed Laura Palfrey moves into the Claremont Hotel, where she joins a group of other elderly hotel residents.

While the hotel residents’ circumstances were relatively comfortable, they were subject to loneliness and boredom and depended on family visits to prove to themselves and others that they had not been abandoned by their loved ones. This got our attention. How could we take more initiative to ensure our future happiness?

We began to seriously consider how to prepare for the problems of loneliness, boredom, and uselessness in our old age. We decided to add all of our names to a waiting list for Westminster Village so at least we could tackle these issues together. Then we patiently supported each member of the book club in making the transition.

The day finally came when we were all together at Westminster Village. Now we were able to decide on a plan of attack. We would attack loneliness by meeting more regularly—once a week—to stimulate each other to grow and stay better in touch with the details of each of our lives. We would attack the problem of boredom by channeling our energy into using our gifts and talents in vital ways to creatively serve our larger community. We would attack uselessness by aggressively noticing needs and sharpening our helping skills

Today our purpose for living at Westminster is much larger than I ever imagined! Sometimes I smile as I think to myself—I started a book club, but in amazing ways it has succeeded beyond my wildest dreams! Now the book club knows the secrets to filling the voids that plague old age.